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The sex industry boom of the 1970’s and the opening up of sexual tolerance and experimentation paved the way for the arrival of the mistress bars of the 90’s. Before this the SM scene had circulated around private play parties and relationships and at SM clubs where customers could meet dominant women. In the mid 80’s some clever entrepreneur hit upon the concept of the modern Mistress Bar. They are a distinctively Japanese mix
of hostess type entertainment and the traditional Japanese and European blend of S/M that defines Tokyo bondage. They developed an immediate following and have gathered strength ever since. The last five years have seen a sudden surge in their popularity.
Mistress Bars are atmospheric places. Entering one you are met by the sight of sexy and imposing women in amazing outfits of leather, rubber and PVC. A play stage is tucked into the corner of the room fitted out with an array of SM toys and props and a formidable suspension rig.
The rest of the bar is usually set out like a hostess club, with tables and seats for the mistresses (jo-osama) and their customers.
The decor is darker though and an air of sexy menace hovers over the place. The women are definitely not sitting with lighter poised, hanging on the customer’s words. These girls are enjoying their power and expect it to be respected. It’s not unfriendly though. They laugh, when something’s funny. Its just
not their job to pander to egos.
Quite the contrary actually. The men who come here want at least to enjoy the company of powerful, dominant women, and often to be whipped, humiliated and hung from the ceiling by them. For some it is the most important part of their sexuality but for many it is an experimental foray into a vaguely dreamt about fantasy. Mistress Shinobu from Nakano Queen SM club says, “Many men don’t have an exact idea of what they want. They don’t know exactly what SM is, but want the experience of different types of pleasure.”
Many of the mistress bars customers have simply seen images of SM and liked what they saw. To follow up these fantasies in everyday life is often impossible and puts them at risk of ridicule. A visit to a mistress bar assures them of a competent, sexy and skillful play partner and confidential environment to pursue an often socially unacceptable pleasure. One opinion that seems to be shared by most mistresses is that everyone has at least a little bit of SM orientation in them, its simply a matter of courage to explore it.
So why are more Japanese men taking the plunge? Mistress Kate from the Mistress Bar says its a response to the building pressures of urban Japanese life.
“SM is a stress relief. People are getting more stresses and this is a relief for them. Its a kind of escape.”
“In general everyone has a little bit of SM in them. But Japanese salarymen have too many barriers in themselves, they don’t know themselves. They have to find themselves, and to break down those barriers to be able to enjoy any sexual experience.” Yukiko is a non-professional domina and house designer for Pink Hazard fetish shop who has watched the mistress bar scene boom and the shifts in social attitudes towards SM sexualities and images in the last 10 years. These images have gradually been absorbed into the mainstream fashion and advertising world, and SM workers have become more acceptable. The perceived glamour of the bondage queen has especially caught the media’s fancy with a jo-osama popping up in a popular mini-series, Flyer TV. While this growing tolerance might make life a little easier for the purveyors and players of the craft, some of the old hands are viewing the phenomenon suspiciously.
“Girls think it is easy; you don’t have to take off your clothes and the costumes look cool. Girls can easily jump into the SM industry now,” says Yukiko. However she worries that some people flirting with SM as a fashion statement are not necessarily understanding its true dynamics. The submissive role is not seen as so fashionable, and the importance of the role of the submissive is not always respected. SM is not simply a case of one person being superior to the other and being treated as such. It is an interaction between two people playing with power roles and people who are missing this relationship are perhaps also missing the point.
Not, of course, that all of the mistress bar customers are such purists. Often they are just looking for something a little different and they are not quite sure what that is. Many of the professional mistresses believe that the popularity of the mistress bars is a response to the building pressures of modern Japanese life. The submissive role is a departure from having to make decisions or having any responsibility for what is going on around them. “Many people believe that SM play is only about pain, but that is not so important,” says Jo-osama Kate, “The mental part is what’s important.”
Some customers are just passing through. They have come for a voyeuristic peek at the sexual underground, and are just there to chat and watch. A certain percentage of the customers are non-Japanese, especially in Roppongi’s Sugar Heel and Mistress Bar. Some are there to check out the much vaunted secret bentness of Japanese society, while others are regular punters. The average mistress bar customer is the suited salaryman, but can include anyone. Company bosses have been known to conduct the social side of their business together under the stern guidance of a sexy leather-clad professional.
The mistresses, too, are an eclectic bunch. By definition, the Japanese jo-osama has stepped well outside of the norms of their society. No Hello Kitty accessories for these girls. They often have piercing and interesting observations to make about their society, its sexualities and gender roles. Like most people whose sexualities or lifestyle distances them from the mainstream, they have had to develop an original and sharp take on their own culture.
“I am Japanese but I think differently from many other Japanese, I have a different attitude.” Jo-osama Kate from the Mistress Bar has the sort of presence that makes people watch her in the street. She speaks little English but has travelled through Africa alone, she makes and performs in SM movies and wears a geisha tattoo that runs from her shoulders to her buttocks. Most of the mistresses are strong individuals. There are designers, dancers, artists, performers and musicians working in the mistress bars.
The customers pay by the hour to be at the mistress bars. If they want they can take part in light play with the mistresses in the bar. On some nights there will be a performance on the stage when some lucky masochist gets the full attention of one and sometimes several mistresses. If the customers want a private session with one of the mistresses they can pay an extra fee and retire to a nearby dungeon for an hour or so. The performances are usually skillful SM and rope-work shows by resident mistresses or a variety of different exhibitions by guest rope-masters, piercers and other SM specialists. Japanese rope bondage has a long history and is widely regarded as some of the best in the world.
Different mistress bars open and close every month in Tokyo, but several have established themselves over years and developed their own style and a loyal following. Mistress Bar in Roppongi have good performances on Friday and Saturday nights. Also in Roppongi is Sugar Heel with the Pink Hazard fetish shop upstairs. Apart from its normal trade this bar seems to have recognised that there is a market for female customers out there as well. Bondage Bar in Shinjuku seems to specialize in, well, bondage, with a visiting rope master and the services of the highly skilled rope mistress Kanon. The Nakano Queen is a mistress club rather than a bar, where customers can book for a session with one of Nakano’s queens in a range of imaginative play rooms. It is a bit of a bastion of the Tokyo sexual underground, having been in business for 20 years under the management of the alluring Mistress Shinobu.
And there are more, of course, hidden away all over the city. Mistress bars have become a more prominent feature of the Japanese cultural fabric and if anything they seem to be gaining popularity. Of course, you won’t read about them in the guide books or the tourist brochures and they generally have to be pointed out to the uninitiated by those in the know. But more and more Japanese are finding rest and recreation away from the pressures of their lives in the fantasy playgrounds of the mistress bars. So next time someone gives you a suspiciously vague answer about what they did last night, it might just be that they have discovered the joys of the dark and intimate clubs where the women are in charge and the men are in awe. |
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